These boots are made for...

After working in retail for half of my life, not too much irritates me more than terrible customer service or all around bad retail business practice. I can't even count the number of times I've walked out of a store without buying something simply because I thought the customer service was terrible. I'll do all the stores in the Twin Cities a favor and not name names (for today, anyways).

Yesterday I ventured out to the Mall of America, which is a rarity for me. One, I hate crowds. Two, there aren't many stores there that are worth dealing with the crowds, parking or generally stupid people that tend to frequent the Mall of America. Three, I've managed more than my share of MOA stores, and don't have any interest in spending any more time there. Ever. Work one holiday season at MOA and you'll feel the same way.

Nordstrom Rack is one of maybe three stores I'll venture out to MOA to visit. I'm a TOTAL sale shopper. Those of you that know me know that I find amazing deals on all of my designer stuff. I've never cared about what's on trend or who says I need to wear what. I wear what I like, and I couldn't care less if it's from last season, last year or five years ago. Probably six out of seven days of the week I'm at home in sweats or yoga pants anyways.

I've been searching for brown knee-high boots for two weeks to go with an outfit my mother-in-law sent me for Christmas - a super cute Benetton sweater dress and brown leggings (fyi I have the awesomest MIL ever). Tonight we have reservations at Manny's, so yesterday was my last day to find the boots if I wanted to wear the outfit.

So of course I find THE cutest boots EVER at Nordstrom, and to top it off they have a little red sticker on the bottom of the boot that says 50% off (and 50% off the sale price, no less). Effing sweet, right?

I'm all stoked, and get in line to pay.

"These boots are actually not on sale".

Ummmmm, what?

"But they're marked 50% off...".

"Yes, but they shouldn't be". (as she is peeling the sticker off with her fingernails)

"This is basic retail - you can't mark something 50% off and then charge me more...".

"But they were mismarked".

"But they say 50% off".

"Yes, but they were mismarked".

"But they say 50% off".

This conversation, the same sentences, were repeated about eight or ten times. I think she finally realized I had allllll day to have this conversation, and called her manager, who ultimately approved the discount. Mama got $400 boots on double markdown for $65. Yea for me and my new hot boots. :)




My OTHER hot new find is my new spring bag (which I am already using).




Layered pink tulle on a bag? How can you not love that. Thank you, Elodie.

Maybe God smiled down on me: Bottle Update.

Shortly after my confession about Jax's nightly bottle ritual, I ended up taking him into the Pediatrician due to his inability to sleep at night and his increase in nightly bottles. For a few nights in a row, he slept for only a few hours (which means that I slept for maybe an hour), and I was again desperate for sleep. She checked him over and as she looked in his mouth saw that all four of his molars were coming in, and diagnosed him with nothing more than being fussy from teething.

We discussed his bottle ritual - I told her I had been watering down his nightly bottles, but that he was sucking down anywhere from two to four bottles in his crib on a consistent basis. She was actually very understanding to the situation, and just said to continue to water them down and that he eventually would not want them anymore. She assured me he would outgrow this habit.

Then we had a miracle.

Starting that night, he has been sleeping through the night. It has been five nights in a row. No bottles, no waking up. Complete sleep from 9pm-7am. This is the first time since he was born that he has slept through the night consistently.

AMEN.

Bad Business Practice

Sometimes I can't believe the lack of basic business knowledge and basic business courtesy in the professional arena. It just amazes me sometimes, and I will absolutely not deal with vendors and businesses that lack common sense and common courtesy. This is a great example - I sent an email to a textile company inquiring about their organic fabrics yesterday. This is a copy of the email I sent:

Hello,
I am interested in obtaining samples and pricing on your organic fabrics, as well as lead times, min orders and information on how long you stock your fabrics.
Thank you,
Ann Evans

Ann Evans
President & Founder
butters&beans, Co.
www.buttersandbeans.com

This is a copy of the email I got back:

Ann-

Thank you for your inquiry.

First of all, we do not stock any finished production fabric. All is made to our customers orders. We run a variety of organic cottons; Bamboo and Bamboo/cotton; Hemp and Hemp organic cotton; Tencel; modal/poly; bamboo/poly; modal/acrylic; ProModal........all knits, so I don't know what you refer to as :organic". The only fibers we certify as organic are the organic cotton and Bamboo's

Our production minimums are 650 yds/color for 7 oz fabric and 1200 yds for 4 oz fabric

Tell me a little about your company. What do you make? Whats your distribution? How long are you in business?

Advise

Michael

First, all of the questions this vendor asked could have easily been answered had he clicked on the link to our website that was sent in the original email. Isn't it HIS job to do his homework considering I would be the one paying him?
Second, I clearly inquired about organic fabrics. How do you not know what I am referring to as organic? How is that confusing? Organic is organic - there is no varying definition.

Let me tell you the most amazing experience I've ever had with a vendor. To this day, it absolutely blows my mind. Some time ago, I was a buyer for a swim company. One of our sales reps for a rather large swim line was very pushy and someone I tended to avoid as we often butted heads - I normally let someone else deal with her, as I didn't liker her and didn't do well hiding it.
While at fashion week one year, I got extremely ill and had a rash covering my entire body. My skin was swollen seriously like a half-inch high, and I was starting to run a high fever. I woke up one morning feeling absolutely terrible, and had to let my business partner handle our appointments that day to view different collections. One of the appointments that day happened to be with this specific sales rep that I wasn't very fond of.
When my business partner got to this appointment with this sales rep, she asked why I wasn't there. My business partner replied to her that I was sick and couldn't make any appointments that day, and that I was at the hotel in bed. Her reply to this was that "maybe she shouldn't have been out partying all night - then she could've made her appointments today".

Wow.

Now, to those of you that know me, you know that I have been sober for several years, so this was a low blow. I had had dinner the previous night with the owner of a high profile swim company, but to say that I was out partying was a ridiculous statement. Who says things like this? And then wants you to pay them? It just amazes me.

I hate to end my posts on a bitchy note, so we'll end with some highlights of my swim career - sometimes I miss the swim industry dearly...

With Cindy Taylor at the Custo Barcelona show at Miami Fashion Week

This picture speaks for itself... :)

With Christian Audigier...

My favorite dress EVER - at the La Perla Mar party at the Gansevoort.

Never dull.

Rather than write a post today, I decided to just post my weekend in pictures. Here we go...


Why buy toys when we have pots and pans? And All Clad at that?



My husband told me last night that the NFL players might go on strike which would delay the start of next season. I laughed.



Logan was NOT happy about this situation and told me I had to delete all of the pictures I took. I told him I was posting the pictures on Facebook.



About ten minutes after Jax trapped Logan under the chair, I looked down and he had actually crawled INTO the dishwasher. Outstanding.

Mama did a bad, bad thing.

Yes, Mama did a bad thing, and I'll admit it. I made a mistake. I made a mistake with my child. Are you allowed to admit that, or does that go against every parenting rule in the book?

Jax doesn't sleep well, and he hasn't slept well since he was born. In the last 393 days, I've only gotten a handful of full nights of sleep (a full night of sleep in my book being from 12am till about 7am). Here's my admittance...when he was around five months old, I gave up and gave him a bottle in his crib to help him sleep at night. Major whoops.

Now give me a chance to explain myself. I was desperate. I needed to sleep so so badly, I would've done just about anything within reason at this point to get him to sleep. He was up anywhere from three to five times a night even at five months old. He never took a Nuk. I tried every written method in existence. I asked other people what they did, and tried their suggestions. Nothing was working.

Here's another problem: He was (and still is) sleeping in our room. I think he also wakes up so much because he knows that I am right there to get him whenever he pleases. He can see me when he stands up in his crib. We have a tiny house, and need to move terribly, but haven't been able to find a new house in our area within our budget. I'm very hesitant to move Logan out of his school district due to his Aspergers (change/new friends/new IEP team is a bad thing). Therefore, with our small house situation, either I lose because Jax is in our room, or Logan loses because he has to switch schools. We will probably be moving this summer, because Jax just cannot continue to sleep in our bedroom.

One more problem, and I will keep this short. We live in a duplex and have neighbors. Noisy neighbors. When Jax doesn't take his naps during the day - when he gets woken up due to noise made next door - he tends not to sleep well at night. I'll keep it at that as this is a hot-button issue, and I will probably have consequences just for writing this short little paragraph.

When he was about a month old we figured out he was a white noise baby, so we've been using a sound machine during his naps and at night from the beginning. That helped temporarily, but now it seems we just created another thing he relies on to sleep. He will also only sleep with a very specific blankie (thanks to the $39 PBK blankie gifted to us that I had to go buy four more of).

I finally resorted to the one thing you aren't supposed to do. I gave him a bottle in his crib. It backfired tremendously. Now he goes through two bottles a night on a good night, and five bottles a night on a bad night. I can seriously see the look of distaste on all of the other Mommy's faces as I write this. I already know I did a bad thing.

So NOW, I have a one-year-old that not only doesn't sleep (still), but drinks five bottles throughout the night. Way to GO, Ann. I typically get around five hours of intermittent sleep a night, and this has gone on for over a year. My oldest didn't sleep well either, and when I found out I was preggers, I thought for SURE God wouldn't do that to me twice. Apparently I was wrong, and God has a sense of humor.

Let me be brutally honest about the consequences for my mistake. First, because I made the mistake of purchasing Avent bottles (see previous post about how badly Avent bottles suck), milk leaks from his bottles onto his sheets. His sheets end up stinky and I have to change them daily. Because I don't have anything better to do than laundry all day. Sometimes his diapers get so wet from drinking so much fluid throughout the night they leak, so I end up having to change his clothes either immediately in the morning or in the middle of the night. Gross, right? Obviously. It will be much more difficult to wean him from bottles than with the average toddler because he drinks SO many of them.

I've been honest with my Pediatrician about my boo-boo. She knows. She's probably the only one I've admitted my mistake to, and only out of necessity as she needs to make accurate decisions, having all of the facts, regarding Jax's health. She didn't make a stink over it, but made it clear I should try to break this habit.

This is the hardest part to admit as a parent: I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to fix my mistake. This gives me major agita. I'm angry with myself, sad that I can't sleep and frustrated that I made such a stupid mistake. The obvious answer is to stop giving them to him, and I've tried (several times). The child has more crying stamina than should be humanly possible. I really don't know how to end this post - I'm not asking for advice. Maybe I just wanted to get this off of my chest, maybe I wanted reassurance that I'm not the only one to make mistakes. Maybe I AM the only one that makes mistakes like this. I don't know. I try my hardest every day to be the best Mama possible, and to know I made a mistake (a biggie) is hard.

So, just to lighten up this post a little, I'll include the following clip:



Yes, I am 32 years old, and farts still make me laugh. :)

Handmade Olympics at The RikRak Studio

All,
b&b is trying to get on the "short list" for something called the Handmade Olympics! This is a cool little contest run by a blog called TheRikRakStudio. Nominations would be super appreciated - all you have to do is either nominate our brand or a specific item (in the kids category), put a link in the our website and/or the item, and state why you are nominating us! Judging will be done by the fabulous editors of CoolMomPicks.com (we heart them). The only issue we've had with this is that some days the nominations are showing up as "closed", and some days they are showing up as "open". Why, we're not sure, but your attempt would be appreciated!

This is the link:
http://rikrakstudio.blogspot.com/2011/01/handmade-olympics-event-2.html

Denim Dilemma

WARNING: If you are someone who shakes their head in disdain at people who spend $200 on a pair of jeans, do not read this post. It will irritate you.

Several posts ago I talked about finding this amazing pair of jeans at Saks that I fell in love with, didn't buy, and then forgot the name of the brand. They were at our lovely Minneapolis Saks Off Fifth (the outlet version of Saks - the only Saks we are lucky enough to have here in Minnesota).

Now, let me preface by saying that I love this store. It's my happy place. Zac Posen dresses for under $500, Juicy sweatsuits for half of what you would see at Macy's and amazing Stuart Weitzman stilettos for less than $200.

This weekend I ventured back to Saks to get my jeans. The brand was Fragile. I left the store with my jeans (and a set of Juicy pj's and a Nanette Lepore top) and was a happy camper....that is, until this morning when I Googled "Fragile denim".

Sears - $14.50
JC Penney - $40.00
Kohls - $21.99

I think I urped a little in my mouth.

Everybody has their "things" that they are willing to drop cash on. For my husband, it's his hunting stuff (rolling eyes). For one of my friends, it's hair products. For another friend, it's cooking supplies. For me, it's shoes, bags and jeans. Not clothing in general, but shoes, bags and jeans. I adore the favorite long sleeve t's from Gap, but I'm going to wear my $12 t-shirt with a pair of Joe's and (in the summer) Betsey Johnson stilettos. Throw in a vintage LV clutch and I'm good to go just about anywhere.

I loooooove a great - no, AMAZING - pair of jeans. My favorites are Joe's. TR's, R&R's, Sevens, Paige, J Brand...I just love them. The first time I slid my body into a pair of Sevens it was over. I never went back to buying regular jeans again. Nothing else could compare anymore to designer denim. Yes, I am one of those people that will drop $200 on a pair of jeans. Guilty, and I don't care an iota.

So, I'm sure you can picture the look on my face when I found out my great new jeans I bought at Saks were sold at discount stores. It didn't sit well. I immediately went upstairs to check the tag, thinking I HAD to have spelled the name wrong or something. I didn't.

At this point I'm calling myself a snotty brat in my head. Who cares what brand they are, right? (Right?) They fit well, right? Of course, armed with this new information, my head is telling me they do not fit as well as I thought they did.

Now I'm sitting here wanting to return them. First, I feel bamboozled by Saks. Lesson learned - apparently the Saks outlet does not always carry "Saks" quality items. Second, I'm feeling a bit like a label whore, but I'm kind of okay with that. But third, and most importantly, am I losing my radar for nice things? Why would a pair of cheap jeans even appeal to me? I need a minute.

-------

I went back upstairs and tried them on again. These jeans are great. I have not lost my radar. I did a closer inspection of the top button closure and the back pocket in the pictures of the cheaper "Fragile" jeans I found online - neither of these things are the same as on the "Fragile" jeans I bought. Normally these are tell-tale brand identifiers.

Knowing what I know about fashion and retail I'm going to assume one of five things in this situation:
1. This brand first started selling at a high price-point to Saks, but then decided to make a cheaper product to sell to the masses and Saks stopped carrying them. Hence, they are now at the Saks outlet.
2. Vice-versa the above situation. They started out at mass-marketers and then went high-end. Happens often (ie Coach - for those of us that actually remember when Coach bags cost less than $100. I will spare you all my "I hate Coach" rant).
3. These are possibly two different brands with the same name.
4. There was a knock-off brand created before the higher-end "Fragile" denim had a chance to get off the ground. Also happens all the time.
5. A Saks buyer made a boo-boo and is possibly now unemployed.

All of this thought over a pair of jeans. Bet you all don't want to live in MY head.

I'm keeping them, by the way.

Books are not for eating.

Much to my chagrin I had to put away Jaxie's books.
This goes against pretty much everything I believe in, as I had Logan reading at the age of three.
But...he eats them. Like, literally eats them. I'm constantly digging chunks of paper and board out of his mouth. Toddlers are quick - even though I'm with him every moment of the day, he still manages to eat books. Everything goes in his mouth. He's not picky. Yesterday he was about two inches away from licking the butt-end of a plunger. Ew.

I'm very excited about b&b going into Simply Panache in Hastings. It's a super cute little boutique that is restructuring to carry mostly handmade pieces. This will be store number two for us in the Twin Cities, and I have several other wholesale possibilities in the works. It's fun to see our little business expand - and it's fun for me to be learning along the way. It keeps life interesting. We'll also be doing a photo shoot for the Woodbury Magazine article within the next few weeks and will be featuring the adorable Ayva and my favorite little Elliot:





We had a liiiiiiittle bit of a hard time shooting Ayva the first time around...but I'm hoping this time will go a little smoother with Mom around (Dad chaperoned the first shoot). Elliot is always a blast - he has an amazing personality that shines through in every shot we take.

The Adderall Experience

Every time I take Logan to the doctor, they ask if he has any allergies to medication. Every time I answer Adderall.
Today he asked why.

"Mom, why am I allergic to Adderall?"
"Allergies can mean many things - it basically means you have a not normal reaction to something you put in or on your body."
"What happens if I take Adderall?"

That was a question I really didn't want to answer. I don't want to go back to that experience. It happened when he was four. The answer is "A complete psychotic break", but I didn't want to tell him that.

"It makes you not sleep."
"How long did I not sleep for?"
"Three days."
"Wow, I bet I was tired after that."

What really happened was this: Our pediatrician decided to switch him from Ritilan to Adderall. He didn't sleep for 48 hours. He had a complete meltdown and attacked me. I had scratches and bruises all over my body from a four-year-old beating the crap out of me. After a full day of being beaten, I knew it wasn't going to stop and that we had to go see a doctor. I knew it was related to the switch in his medication. I had to sit on him just to get him into his car seat. While we were driving, he continuously yanked my head back by my pony tail in the car. It took everything I had not to break down myself. I was on auto-pilot. When I got to the office, I was restraining him with both my arms and my legs and he was flailing with all of his might and screaming at the top of his lungs. The woman at the front desk told me to have a seat in the waiting room. Um, how about you put me in a room? Do you see what I'm dealing with? My eyes were glazed over and I was shaking. They brought us to a room.
He continued to flail, bite, scratch, kick and scream in the room as I restrained him. This had been going on for hours at this point and I was bleeding and bruised. When our pediatrician finally walked in the room, the tears came down. I had nothing left. She called an ambulance and he was transferred to Children's. They kept us until the medication wore off and he fell asleep.
Not many people can understand this. Not many people can understand the pain, endurance and patience needed with a child with ASD. Luckily we have moved beyond his aggressive behavior thanks to medication, therapy and some excellent teachers and psychologists. He hasn't had aggressive behavior in several years - but many families aren't so lucky. I thank God every time I recall this experience that we no longer have to deal with situations like this.

Hold that door, please.

Since when do men not open doors for women?
Is this because so many women have demanded independence, and men are confusing common courtesy with women asserting themselves?
I can't tell you HOW many times I've been literally steps behind a man walking into or out of a store and had a door slammed in my face. Are they so unaware of their surroundings that they don't know I am behind them, more often than not carrying a 20 pound child in my arms? Were they not taught by their Mothers (or scolded by their wives) that it is proper to hold the door open for a woman carrying a child? Do they just not have manners? Are they confused about etiquette? Or, do they just not care?
My 11-year-old knows better than this. He uses words like "please", "thank you", "sir" and "ma'am". He holds doors open for elderly people, women holding babies and younger children. My heart swells with pride every time I see him do this. I know I have taught him common courtesy.
The funny thing is that often when I do something nice for someone (ie pick something up that someone dropped and hand it back to them, hold a door open for someone else, move my cart so someone can pass around me in the grocery store), no one seems to say "thank you" anymore, either. It's like having manners has become a lost art. People seem to expect courtesy themselves, but often not offer it in return.
What happened to manners? Where have they gone?

Struggles with Aspergers

Yesterday seemed to never end.
It started pretty normal - I went to the grocery store to satisfy my new coupon obsession (it was double coupon day), picked up the new b&b wholesale packets and stopped to pick up a couple prescriptions at Target. Butters slept in a little yesterday morning, so my intentions were to only put him down for one nap as opposed to his normal two.
This idea didn't work out in my favor.
After two bouts of screaming, I realized that neither of us was going to be getting our much needed afternoon siesta. Crabby baby, crabby Mama.
Then Logan got home, and this already touchy situation was exasperated by his math test (53%) and a language arts project (C). THEN, I had the pleasure of reading the evaluations for his upcoming IEP meeting next week. This was the last piece that our already slightly off-balance house needed to tip.
Now this little tidbit needs a little background info. For those of you unfamiliar with the term "IEP", this is an Individualized Education Plan. It lays out a plan for all of the extra things Logan needs to get through his day, any services (speech, etc), and basically discusses his progress and shortfalls. The IEPs done every three years (which is the one that needs to be done) include several tests, psychological and educational, issued by his teachers and the school psychologist.
Back to the story, I read through pages of other people's evaluation of where my child was at. His teachers had comments such as "makes actions or comments that hinder peer acceptance", and "gets distracted during transitions", and "has a difficult time focusing in class".
I've seen the homework Logan hands in, and its not so good. I will help him, but I will absolutely not do it FOR him. I will only help him within a realm he is able to understand. He has a very difficult time writing papers. His paragraphs are limited to three sentences - he does the very minimum required to get by. It is far below the work of his peers. He struggles with both math and science concepts and often fails his tests. However, his grades are B's and C's...I really feel like he gets pushed through because teachers often don't want to deal with him.
He doesn't have the peer relationships that most children his age have. This is typical of children with Asperger's. Although he is 11, he has the social maturity of probably a six or seven year old. I have a very hard time going to school events with him and watching him attempt to interact with other kids his age, and seeing them react with distaste and annoyance. He is often ignored.
Last night I struggled for probably the zillionth time with what to do. Putting him in a private school isn't the answer - they are more academically demanding and do not have the extra services necessary for him to succeed. Holding him back a year would be difficult at his age (I brought this up last night and he freaked out).
So, this morning I had to work on finding answers. I'm not sure if the answer is pushing the school district, but I contacted the State of Minnesota's Autism Specialist to see if I can push for him to have a para with him all day (which I've asked for on several occasions but the school has denied). I contacted the one private school in Minnesota that specializes in special needs children - that comes with a tuition of over $21,000 per year. I'm Googling any possible school in our area that may have an Autism program. I've contacted the doctor that did his Asperger's diagnosis to see if he can give further recommendations to the school staff in writing to back up everything I'm asking for.
Where this will go from here, I don't know yet, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

Taxidermy and Avent Bottles

One of Logan's Aspie obsessions is reading Calvin and Hobbes.
Logan - "Mom, do you think Jax will be like Calvin when he gets older?"
Me - "I'm not sure..."
Logan - "Well, if he is, I'm going to go to the toy store and get him a tiger. And not a stuffed one, but taxidermy."
Outstanding idea, Logs.

Moving on, and switching gears completely, I despise Avent bottles. Don't buy them. Ever. They leak profusely. They leak from both the ring and the nipple. There is nothing more enraging then attempting to make a screaming, hungry baby a bottle, shaking it to mix the formula and having the mixture fly all over the kitchen. Re-adjust, still leaking. Re-adjust again. More screaming. Nerves twitching.
We have actually been struggling with this since Jax switched to the bottle when he was around 2 months old, so for about the last EIGHT months. Why I waited 8 months to switch brands is absolutely beyond me. I can't even TELL you how many times I've had to go downstairs in the middle of the night to make a bottle (half asleep) and cursed Avent out under my breath because it takes me a full ten minutes to re-adjust and re-adjust the ring and nipple so it doesn't leak.
So today we finally made the switch and I bought a new set. I switched to the Playtex Wide Bottles. About an hour ago I put Butters down with his first one, and haven't heard a peep. I'm hesitant after the Avent fiasco, so we'll see how it goes. I'll update about whether or not they leak.

Another product that sucks - Safety 1st cabinet locks are terrible. They still open wide enough for Butters to get out an average sized bottle of spray cleaner.



AND...Butters has also learned how to move one large thing to climb on top of another thing. Charming.



Lastly, make SURE you have gotten to b&b to check out the bib and burpie sale!